“To die, to sleep – to sleep, perchance to dream – ay, there’s the rub, for in this sleep of death what dreams may come…” HAMLET
After long consideration, I’ve determined what my next project will be.
I want to play a dead body in Doctor Strange 2.
If not a dead body, then perhaps someone sleeping, taking a nap or otherwise laying down. Here’s why:
a.) Experience: I have a lifetime of experience laying down. You won’t find me suddenly standing up, sitting up or moving around. When I decide to lay down, I am committed to laying down. This skill naturally lends itself to being a corpse or sleeping person.
b.) Corpses Needed: Look, people die in the MCU. Happens all the time. And only very rarely do they re-corporate from dust. Doctor Strange 2 is likely to have a need several dead people. I’m filling a need!
c.) No dialogue: The dead don’t speak. Usually. So, there’s no dialogue to learn. No acting or response required. Just lay there and contemplate death while others actually do and say things near or around me. I can do that!
d.) Motivation: Dead characters often spur a hero towards a greater good. If, by my sacrifice, I can motivate Dr.Strange to do the right thing, then in a way, I am a hero too! A dead hero.
e.) Large Size: As a big man, my corpse can be used to hide cables, sound recording equipment, inconvenient power outlets or a variety of other things that shouldn’t be seen on camera. Why add a task for the art department? Hide a multitude of sins under my dead body.
f.) No distractions: If I had a line of dialogue in the film, it’ll detract from the performances by Benedict Cumberbatch and others. People will miss their dialogue, because they’ll be so enchanted by my performance. Having me speak wouldn’t be fair to the rest of the cast. Best that I be a silent corpse.
g.) Dead Legend: Once I play a corpse in Doctor Strange 2 and that film enjoys the “GuyInChair” bump in ticket sales, I think it’s reasonable that other MCU films will also want a piece of this hot action. I could be a “dead alien” in Guardians of the Galaxy 3, a “dead Soviet” in Black Widow 3, a “dead white dude” in Black Panther 2. The possibilities are limitless. Need a big dead guy? I’m your (dead) man!
I think the case speaks for itself. If given this opportunity, I’m confident I could bring a rich performance as bulky set dressing. I only need the approval from director, Scott Derrickson, to put this plan in action. I’m ready to go anywhere, anytime to play a corpse for however long it takes.
To help me do that, please email, tweet or instagram to Derrickson using the hashtag #DeadGuyInChair to consolidate the people’s movement. Together, we can make this dream a reality!
Scott Derrickson, I’m ready to die for Doctor Strange 2!
