When I want to discuss an upcoming film release that I haven’t seen, I’ll share my “Preview” for it. What I want to see. What I hope to avoid seeing. Based, usually, on standard trailer releases and avoiding as many other spoilers as I can. That is what I call a “Preview”.
You could say that I’m a Spiderman fan. I’ve seen all of the McGuire films, half of the first Garfield movie, the first Holland film, all of the MCU appearances and fell head-over-heals for “Into the Spiderverse”. I cut my teeth on the Electric Company Spiderman. I watched all of the “Spiderman & Friends” shows over bowls of Captain Crunch. And I’m habitually unable to stop rolling my eyes that there’s a “Venom” movie which somehow doesn’t include Spiderman in it. Oooooooooooohkay!
Anywho, those are my bonafides. I come into Tuesday’s first screening of Spiderman with high hopes and a genuine and sincere desire to see an entertaining Spiderman movie. If Homecoming (and the bits of the Avengers films that Holland’s Spiderman pops up in) are an indication of the performance, the scripting and the direction for the character, then I’m reasonably sure that it’s going to be a great film. (Look at me, staking out a fringe opinion!!!)
Here’s what I want to see:
Stark Closure: I’m still processing the events of Avengers: Endgame. The MCU has been dramatically changed by the two snaps. Even more sadly, Captain America is retired and Iron Man has been lost. The Iron Man/Spiderman relationship was emotional core to the successful ice cream surrounding of Homecoming. Peter has lost his parents, his uncle and now his mentor. (Oh and he died and came back.) This kid has been through some SHIT. I want to see how he deals with the same feelings of loss that I have for RDJ. (Did I say RDJ? I meant Iron Man. Same thing.)
Find The Helpers: That said, Spiderman doesn’t operate in a vaccuum. He’s got Aunt May, Happy, Ned and MJ at his side. To one degree or another. I want these genuinely good people to stand behind Peter and prop him up, when he needs help. I want to see them being good to Peter. I need to see more films where people are good to each other. The world is rough, right now. I need some cinematic escapism.
WebSlinging: There’s a visceral, muscle and bone, physical practicality to how Spiderman does his “hero thang”. Think about that sequence where he calculates the force necessary to leap over the helicopter and smash the window of the Washington monument. Other heroes just DO amazing things naturally and without comment. (When was the last time you saw Superman excited by his ability to fly?) Peter Parker, though, is acting and reacting on the fly. I don’t want to see the smooth, polished web-crobatics from the McGuire Spiderman films. I still want to see and feel the physical weight of Holland’s Spiderman being tossed around by real-world physics.
New Suits/ New Tech: Looks like there’s at least two new suits in this film. The Stealth Suit. The Red/Black Suit. I’m HERE for all of them. Whatever their quirks or background, I want to see it. Remember when “Karen” offered up hundreds of web-slinging options? I want to see a handful of those play out. In the past year, we’ve seen some crazy-cool webbing action in SONY’s Spiderman video game. “Far From Home” has to match that, at the very least. (Even though it’s getting increasingly harder to show us Something New from a Spiderman film. We’ve already seen A LOT.)
Zendaya is Meechee: (I’m sorry. I can’t see or read her name without that phrase popping into my head, immediatly. In a way, Zendaya will always be Meeche for me. God, I hope I never meet her. I won’t be able to NOT say that outloud in her presence.)
It looks like FFH is leaning into her role as MJ and “Face it Tiger, You’ve hit the Jackpot!” I LIKE the character of MJ. Specifically, I like a cool, confident, supportive MJ. I liked MJ as Spiderman’s wife in the comics. I liked that she had her modelling career and it was going well enough that not everything they talked about was what was going on in Peter’s life. I liked that they strengthened her backstory in the McGuire films. And hey, if I absolutely HAVE TO watch a musical number in a Spiderman, I want to see MJ do it.
Zendaya’s MJ, though, is an archetype that I don’t immediately recognize. She’s a street-smart, modern high school girl that I have zero connection to in my real life. I can’t tell if she’s going to make out with Parker or build an entire website arguing that he’s a dickhead. I don’t know anything about her or what she wants. I’m ready for FFH to introduce me to Zendaya’s MeeChee. Sorry. Zendaya’s MJ.
MYSTERIO???: Okay. We gotta talk about this for a second. Jake Gyllenhal is playing Quentin Beck. Aka Mysterio. In this thing. I’ve seen Mysterio used very effectively in comics. (His run in the Kevin Smith Daredevil books is a revelation.) Mysterio is a mind-fucker. And a bastard. He’ll inject you full of his Goofy Juice and send you down a years-long utopian life experience, making you believe you had a lifetime as the Best You You Could Possibly Be, just to rip it away and reveal that he was secretly diddling your butthole while you were under. He’s a Grade A Jackass. In an ultra-goofy supevillain costume. Too. Many. Textures. And the fishbowl. The Fucking Fishbowl.
This sounds like a criticism, but it’s not. All of those things are what make Mysterio the Best SpiderVillain you’ve never heard of before. It’s why I love him. It’s why I am excited to see him onscreen, finally.
The fact that he’s (technically) a “hero” in this film? Well, that’s classic Mysterio. Eventually, he’s going to reveal that he’s been diddling your butthole, without your consent. I just want to state, for the record, that I don’t want him to offer me a “Willem Dafoe” style, campy, over-the-top villain reveal. I’ve seen that before. Have his turn (if he turns) be organically motivated. Keep him relatable. Avoid irredeemability. It’s okay if the man in the Fishbowl helmet is complicated. He should be.
Gotta say that I love the re-imagining of Vulture in Homecoming. I’m excited to see what they do here.
Also, Jake Gyllenhal is pretty good. “Zodiac” and “Source Code” are both on my Favorite Movies List. I’m ready to enjoy whatever he wants to do with the role!
Last Bits:
Looks like Ned has a girlfriend and she’s not another chubby character for easy comic relief. Good choice there! Good for you Ned. Ned is my homeboy.
Samuel “MuthaFucking” Jackson. I think he can do no wrong. I’m happy to sit back and watch him do whatever he wants to do int his film. I am HERE for some Nick Fury action.
Tony Revolori is Flash. I mean, I think, in real life, he’s very Flash-like. I’m seeing social media posts from first class on flights. I’m tweeting at him and getting no responses (Le Sigh.) I’m ready his essay about what Spiderman means to him, personally. Props to Revolori for embodying the character on and offscreen. I guess. I don’t know. I guess I can look forward to hearing how great his life is now at future comic con experiences. (which he’ll likely fly coach to and from.)
The Elementals are NOT Sandman, HydroMan and the Molten Man? Okay. Sure. Am I missing out on Hydroman’s incredible backstory? I am not. I’m cool with sacrificing those future, potential bad guys to be used more effectively in this film. Sure. Why not?
In Conclusion:
I’m seeing Spiderman:Far From Home in five days. I’m seeing it in 2D IMAX. (3D IMAX wasn’t an option on Fandango, when I bough the tickets five weeks ago. Whatevs.) I have every reason to trust Jon Watts as director and the SONY/MCU hybrid as producers. I am looking forward to having a great time at the movie and putting a button on the Infinity Saga. Oh and I’m sticking around for both post-credit sequences.
One More Thing:
In 1975, MARVEL released their first (and last) rock and roll album about their heroes. It’s called “Rock Reflections Of A Superhero”. And it’s terrible. In between some inexplicably doo-wop songs??? (Oh, The Seventies, you Couldn’t Quit The Fifties, Could You?) the record album lays it on thick with narrations by Stan “The Man” Lee. It’s hardly something you could just throw on in the background.
That said, there is one gem on the album. “Peter Stays/ Spiderman Goes” is wonderful. Here. Shove this in your ears to get ready for Far From Home. I suspect it’s directly connected to the film’s subject matter. Enjoy!
